70. “If you want to chatter away in your own language, what the hell- you’re paying!”
71. “We’ve found the dead rat under classroom 7B”
72. “We will keep your teacher’s passport until you pass the FCE”
73. “You just never know what will happen in the next class!”
74. “All the worst teachers left last term”
75. “We will teach you language you can really use in the classroom, e.g. the language of complaints”
76. “Our crappy marketing proves that we don’t waste your money on it”
77. “We get all our worst teachers out of the classroom (and into management)”
78. “Our teachers can’t leave half way through the year because they are credit blacklisted/ wanted by the police back home”
79. “Our teachers will genuinely enjoy chatting with you (because they have no friends of their own)”
80. “Cheaper than a host or hostess bar- and slightly less sordid”
81. “The only school in town that still lets you choose your teacher from a photo”
82. “We will genuinely listen to any complaints about your classes (because we don’t trust the teachers either)”
83. “This year’s batch of teachers seem normal”
84. “Complaints down 93% to only five complaints per class”
85. “If you want to know how bad our chief competitor is, try speaking in English to our receptionist who studied there”
86. “Only 3% of our complaints last year were about the teaching”
87. “We promise you will finish the textbook (whether you understand it or not)”
88. “We use the cheapest textbooks we can find”
89. “This year we’ve bought new board pens!”
90. “We now have one more classroom (and one less toilet)”
91. “The noise of the other students chatting in Spanish and Italian means you don’t have to be shy about speaking out”
92. “Here is a photo of some of our best looking students:”
93. “Here are some more photos of the one newly painted classroom from a different angle”
94. “*NB. Photos of the outside and inside of the classrooms/ teachers’ room/ school may be from different schools/ countries/ years/ decades”
95. “*Some use of Photoshop”