Here are some quotes from the emails and mobile messages they hacked, with the names of whose they are taken out to protect the innocent(?)

“Sometimes those groupies make me wish I’d never come up with it. What is the strange connection between ‘materials-light’ and ‘sanity-light’?”

“My girlfriend wants me to shave the beard, but I don’t look nutty enough to be a humanistic guru without it. What do you think I should do?”

“I think the new edition is worse too, but John’s cocaine habit meant we have no choice but to keep churning them out”

“Why do they keep going on about us having an island in the Caribbean? Don’t they realise how small it is?? It’s hardly bigger than our yacht!”

“Bloody blog. It’s been six months since I ended it and I still can’t think of five or seven of anything”

“I set it up to rant about those Yanks ruining OUR language, but every time I sit down to say something cruel it ends up being well-balanced again.”

“If Prince can get attention by ‘retiring’ and then just carrying on, why shouldn’t I do the same thing with my blog??”

“Making a vaguely amusing TEFL variation on a recent news story is my thing! What can’t that TEFLtastic twat come up with any of his own ideas??”