appropriacy- the noun of appropriate + priapism

aspect- ass and pecs

aspiration- mouth to mouth resuscitation of a student who was so stressed when speaking English that they forgot to breathe

colligations- the offspring of a collie and an alligator

conjunction- someone selling fake Rolexes on the street corner

exponent- a former enemy

felicity conditions- the circumstances under which you could get a student as foxy as Felicity Kendall

fluency- the opposite of constipation

formulaic phrases- how geeks use English

fricative- technical jargon for the F word

glottal stop- where Londoners catch buses

heuristics- the sounds produced which vomiting

hyponym – the pen name of someone who thinks the Summer of Love never finished

jigsaw listening- ELT jargon for a remix

lexical primings- hazing by lexicographers

meaning to form- deciding a woman isn’t too bad looking because she’s funny and interesting (the opposite of form to meaning- thinking a woman is funny and interesting because she’s fit)

nasal- a sound produced through your nase

notion- the opposite of lotion

open vowel – the opposite end to an open bowel

particle- tiny words that students randomly stick in the wrong place when they are speaking, named after the specks of dust on your computer monitor

phatic communion- eating too many wafers when you manage to sneak into the priest’s room during Sunday mass

phoneme- the smallest phone on which it is possible to make yourself understood

pitch- the place where you play pronunciation games

plosive- a small town in Poland

pragmatics- a Japanese misspelling of plug + matic, the timer that goes in the socket and turns your lights on automatically every night

schwa- a very small kebab

semantic associations- wife swapping clubs

semiotic- half an otic (approximately 3 gallons)

substitution drill- the tool used to make a hole in the skull through which you can remove students’ reluctance to speak if they could possibly make a mistake

terminology- seeing all other Applied Linguists as ants that need to be crushed

third conditional- most people’s limit on the number of sentences starting with if that they can stand in one stretch of speech

weak form- the typical body type of a TEFL teacher

It’s been a while since Part 21 (for good reason, probably) but it’s still here waiting for you if you want a visit, as are the highlights of all the posts so far.