If my blog stats are anything to go by, most of you are already running down for Christmas. As the famous Japanese chain Nova (short for “no vacations” went the joke) is no longer the force it once was, I guess you’ll also have Xmas day off. No need to totally forget TEFL for the day, though, as social occasions are one of the many things that the skills picked up in the classroom can be used for.

For example, you can avoid getting involved in any family rows by eliciting whenever you are asked your opinion, e.g. “What do YOU think my reaction to this hand-knitted reindeer-patterned sweater is?” and “Do YOU think I’d like all the remaining Brussels sprouts with just a dribble of cold gravy on top?” Alternatively, you can stop any such rows happening by keeping points all day (points given for slow and careful opening of presents, points taken away for scoffing the last mince pie without asking anyone else if they want it, etc) and giving the tin of Quality Streets to whichever person or team has the best score at the end of the day.

And of course you shouldn’t be stuck for ideas if conversation lags during the day. You could try a real-life Alibi Game about who stuck their finger in the Xmas pudding this morning or who put burst Jimmy’s new Space Hopper by putting their cigarette out on it in 1972. Find Someone Who is of course another classic you could use, e.g. “Find someone who gave most of last year’s presents from family members to someone else this year” or “Find someone who secretly thinks Mum’s turkey is always horribly dry”. You could also try a debate on topics such as “Should Nan start spending Xmas day in the care home if she can’t stop complaining about how the youngsters spend their day?” or “Should Uncle Jim be limited to two sherries and strip-searched for hidden alcohol when he enters the house?”

You should also be the right person to stop people sitting around all day passively watching the television. For example, you could make the family watch the Queen’s Speech with the sound turned down and guess what she is saying, then watch it again with the sound up to check. Or you could get the script of The Sound of Music or The Man with the Golden Gun and ask the family to act it out instead of just watching it. Best of all, you could sit half the family with their backs to the television and ask the other people to explain what is happening in the Eastenders Xmas Special in real time, filling in questions on a worksheet such as “Which moment in the episode is the least depressing?” and “Who tells who to get out of what and never come back again?”

Any other ideas?

PS. If you never experienced a lower-middle class 1970s Southern British Xmas and so have no idea what a tin of Quality Street etc are (lucky you), have a look at the EFL Encyclopedia of Xmas, so far up to Part Two.