I have always had nervous dreams before the start of new classes, but it was only a year or two after starting teaching that I realised that the dreams were actually predicting the future. Ten years later and after hundreds of teacher interviews I finally released my list of interpretations of TEFLers’ dreams, but like all misunderstood works of genius my dream dictionary was ignored or laughed at. I am therefore trying again with a slightly polished up version, including many dreams from 2008 to 2010 prompted by a stomach full of kimchi.

Suddenly realising you have no clothes on – You will realise halfway through your next improvised grammar explanation that it doesn’t make any sense

Falling and falling then waking up – You will be rescued from a difficult question by the end of lesson bell

Doing the same thing over and over – Your school will again refuse to switch to New Headway next year, even though the rest of the world is on the Third Edition

A cold wind – You will walk into class with your flies open

Being chased – One of your housewife students will start to stalk you

Flying effortlessly – Your lesson plan will work all the way through for the first ever time

Walking through an empty town – Your students will start deliberately arriving 15 minutes late in order to avoid the warmers

Speaking a language fluently that you don’t know in real life – You will use jargon that you don’t fully understand and get away with it

Suddenly realising you are in your pyjamas – Your mind will drift so much in the classroom that you’ll lose track of where you are on your lesson plan

Your teeth crumbling in your mouth – You will lose the ability to speak at normal native speaker speed due to having too many Elementary classes

Waking up and doing your normal daily routine then really waking up – Halfway through a practice activity a student who came 45 minutes late will ask you a question that can only be answered by doing the whole grammar presentation again

A monster under the bed– A student will ask about the only part of the grammar that you didn’t research before the class

Being able to do magic– You will be able to successfully explain the Future Perfect for the first time

Being lost– You will deviate from your lesson plan during an observed lesson and have no idea how to get back on topic

Having sex with a friend you have never had sexual feelings about- You will start to become excited about grammar

Walking through a large empty house and opening lots of doors– You will have to search through at least seven supplementary photocopiable books for each suitable worksheet you find

Death– Your students will be glad to get to the end of your warmer

Being abandoned– The one student that speaks out when you elicit will be absent next week

Being late– You will get to the end of the lesson and realise you didn’t get any further than the warmer

Hiding from someone– The Director of Studies will be too busy to observe you this week as planned

Cats- One of your students will start singing along unprompted when you do Tom’s Diner in your Present Continuous lesson

A flying bird– You will finally escape TEFL

Rats– The management of your school will leave as they find out about the financial problems in the company, without telling any of the teachers

Parrots – Too much drilling will make your students repeat everything you say, including conversation questions and game instructions

Ants – Your boss will introduce even more paperwork aimed at standardizing lessons

Scorpions – Your seemingly happy students will complain about too many games in the end of term feedback sheets

Bears – One student will be so disgusted by the chest hair showing when you wear an open collar shirt that they will ask to change classes