I’m going to be reviewing a book with this title. A good study tip I learnt from my DELTA tutor is to think about what might be coming up in the book and then read to check, so here are some things that I might expect in a book with this name:

1. Put it on the floor and use it for air hockey (what else could those little holes be for??)

2. Use playing around with it as an excuse not to chat with the one strange student who always comes early

3. Use having to go into the classroom early to set it up as an excuse to get out of unwanted teachers’ room conversations and household tasks

4. Scream at it when it goes wrong for the third time today

5. Squint at it (e.g. as you try to work out which button you are supposed to press)

6. Blame it for your headaches

7. Blame it for your handwriting being illegible

8. Blame it for your bad relations with your colleagues (because you are permanently cross that the pens go missing and nobody else ever aligns the pen and board)

9. Use incredibly bright colours to punish naughty classes

10. Replace it with a proper whiteboard

11. Stick bits of A3 paper on top of it so that you can still write when the technology breaks down

12. Think about how much more you could get paid if they hadn’t wasted the school’s money on it

13. Think about how much more proper lesson preparation you could do if you weren’t typing up flipcharts all the time

14. Use it at least once every class (or at least once in every observation) in ways that are superficially impressive but pedagogically pointless

15. Play online games with your young learners whenever the last thing you planned has finished

16. Avoid having to think of anything clever to do with songs by letting them stare at a YouTube video

17. Use turning it on as your warmer in your first young learners’ class

18. Use the noise of the fan to give your incredibly shy students something to hide their speaking behind

19. Turn the thing off to give everyone a pleasant break

20. Stick having used it on your CV and then look for a school where you don’t have to anymore

21. Use it as a motivation to finally move into Business English (where, funnily enough, the pressure for real results is highest and the interest in IWBs is lowest)

I’m a fair bit short of 400. A little help…