Being much influenced by the UK, TEFL has not escaped the influence of “health and safety gone mad”. Here are some health and safety rules and tips from UK-based international chains of schools*:
– Do not do a mingling task or running dictation with students holding scissors.
– Always retain correct posture when lifting an Advanced learner’s dictionary, lifting from the knees not the waist.
– File down corners of laminated flashcards before taking them into class.
– To protect your eyes, wear sunglasses or a black bag over your head when using the photocopier.
– To kill germs, spray all shared teacher’s books with bleach before and after use.
– When using a step to reach books on a top shelf, put a thick layer of paper on the floor around the step to soften any fall.
– Worksheets are a fire hazard, so keep them slightly damp at all times and put any unused ones in the big bucket of water in each classroom.
– Hair might catch fire in the light of a bright projector, so wear an aluminium foil cap when stepping into the beam or tie the whiteboard pen to a long stick so you don’t have to step into the beam.
– To avoid the danger of tripping while moving around the classroom, give students bright yellow bags to put over their feet or just make sure no one moves around.
– To avoid banging of hips on “flap” style tables attached to chairs, train students in the sideways hip movements necessary to slip into position, getting them to practice moving their hips in this way several times before allowing them to sit down.
– To avoid toxic fumes, if a student farts open a window and ask that person to stand next to it until the smell has completely gone.
– In order to save eyestrain at the computer, rather than preparing your own worksheets just photocopy the first thing you find that might be suitable.
– If a fire alarm sounds, do not assume that the alarm was pressed by a teacher who ran out of material in the last ten minutes of the lesson (as is usually the case). Take it seriously and evacuate the building.
– Squatting and kneeling on the floor can cause RSI, so please take in one of those cushions that old people use when they are weeding their gardens.
*based on a true story
Been a while since I’ve tried a post of this ilk, but there are loads of old ones if you click on the tag below.
