“Create progress in your students’ listening ability by progressing through this series of 10 tapes for the EFL classroom. Early tapes are blurred, foggy, crackly, at wrong speed, and low fidelity. Later tapes become clearer and clearer with high fidelity and at correct speed.”

or even better

“you will receive exotically franked airmail letters from all over the world. Available in 2 types:

1) Handwritten letters from “ex-students” stating that they miss your classes and think you’re the best teacher they’ve ever had. Guaranteed mis-spellings and appalling layout.

2)Typed letters from foreign Universities and teaching organizations stating that you submitted an article/workshop/book manuscript etc. and it has been received and accepted.

…to leave… casually lying around”

That one would help make up for the lack of Kit Kat’s from students that Sean Banville mentions in his latest post.

Both suggestions from the Spoof Page of The Teacher Trainer Journal back articles. No comment function there, so add your suggestions for novelty gifts for TEFLers here.